I look forward to going to bed.
Yes, after a day of working and simultaneously being a jungle gym for these crazy kids, I’m exhausted both mentally and physically.
But more than looking forward to sleep, I really treasure the quiet time in bed right before my eyelids get so heavy I can’t fight it any more, and give in to sleep.
My days are spent trying to truly focus on a task or on my kids, all while being constantly distracted by the to-dos and forgotten tasks that are always knocking on the door for attention.
The evenings have a different energy.
I love the quiet of the night, the quiet of the house after I finally get all the kids to bed—and the relief 30 minutes later, when I know for sure they are going to stay in bed!
I’m not fully relaxed, and the to-dos are still clamoring for attention, but I’m getting there.
I revel in a quiet evening with my husband, watching Bachelor in Paradise or some other show that allows me to zone out and not have to overthink anything.
But I feel that my truly favorite time, of maybe the whole day, is when I go upstairs and go to bed.
I always go up before my husband. I wash my face, brush my teeth, and try not to overthink the new wrinkles that seem to appear daily.
A year after moving to our house, we still have yet to hang a single thing on the walls. So with few mirrors around, sometimes this feels like the first time all day I have really looked at myself.
I use a lot of Honest Company and BEAUTYCOUNTER stuff. I like the idea that the products being absorbed into my skin and body are on the natural side.
And I have so many diapers and so much formula coming from the Honest Company, it’s always easy to throw something for myself into the bundle.
Lately it’s been simple—a Vitamin C serum, a hearty moisturizer, and that’s it’s. I rub it everywhere, including around my eyes and neck, and call it a day.
Now the fun really begins!
I get into my headboard-less bed and find just the right angle for my body that night. After using five pillows every night for years, my husband was the one that insisted on adjustable beds.
As much as I feel like our bed is a little separated, I do love to elevate my head and legs just a little. I stir much less at night, and especially if I’m a little sick, it’s so nice to put your head up a bit.
With the right position, I make sure my feet are properly NOT under the covers, and that my fan is blowing directly on them.
What can I say? I like cool feet.
And now it’s the time I’ve been looking forward to all day. I get to be completely still, in complete quiet, and I get to read my book.
After coming upstairs, my husband usually falls asleep before me, and the quiet is just what I need. For the first time all day, I feel like my heart finally slows its rhythm, my muscles relax, and I don’t have a million thoughts running through my head.
Sometimes this moment lasts 45 minutes, but more often it’s four to five minutes.
However long it lasts though, it’s a good moment.
I’m lucky that sleep comes easily to me these days. It’s one of the advantages of a year of sleep deprivation.
And I’m lucky my alarm clock is my kids and not my phone.
I’m never quite ready to leave that bed, but I know I’ll get back there, eventually.