Go with me for just a few minutes…
This post is coming at a pivot point in my life. I am a person who has always loved the truth. The truth gives me strength and hope, and keeps my compass pointing in the right direction.
I have just finished reading one of the most important books I will have read in my life. It is called Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle. If you haven’t read this book, and you are searching, do yourself and the world a favor, and read it. Read the entire thing!
The book, for me, is a love letter to truth. It embodies everything about standing in your truth and shining a light in the areas we usually hide from others. This way, we can all know that we, in fact, are not alone.
Truth doesn’t just give you freedom, it brings you peace, and “your people.” Obviously, we are not just talking about the everyday small truths (although, they are important as well). Rather, we are talking about those things we think we will lose “because of….” Whether that is a person, a love, a status—the big things we place value on.
Well, one of my truths I have always struggled with, much like Glennon Doyle, is the betrayal of myself—allowing myself to get caught up in my expectations, or the image of what the world expects.
And it simply doesn’t serve me.
Instead it has tried to break me.
But my truth is that I felt it, that aching pain, and I knew it wasn’t the Me I had thought I’d worked so hard to be. I was living in the expectation and ignoring the truth right underneath it.
What does this have to do with Mother’s Day, you may ask?
A lot. As a mother and a daughter, I have watched for many years what it means to shed away who you are for the sake of “keeping it all together.” To be a mother, you are far too often expected to have it all! You need to become everything to everybody and don’t you dare get tired, or complain. It’s a slide that leads straight to so much internal conflict to fight down and swallow the truth.
The truth may be that you’re drowning. The truth may be you need a break from your baby, or kids—just for a few hours so your mind can do whatever it used to do before you had them!
There a lot of truths we can’t speak. Motherhood feels like the Voldemort of Earth. That which we shall not name…the truth, about how we really feel, really need, really want help.
The craziest part is, it’s all okay. It’s okay to need, want, have help. But we have been feared into not saying, or asking for it. This all made me so grateful that I have always found ways to be a truth seeker.
I know in my soul when I am not in my truth. It is why I often suffer from body aches and have even had some depression before.
I was fortunate enough to find a group of women who needed the truth like I did, when my daughter was an infant. It was the most beautiful room of non-judgemental, pure-loving-truth I could have ever imagined.
I didn’t know that I could feel that safe about sharing how hard being a mother was, especially since I had lost a child before. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to say that it was hard because it would mean I was ungrateful for the gift of my daughter. Of course I love her more than anything in life, but that truth that I was locking up was keeping me from bonding as much as I knew we should be.
When I was able to get that out and only have supportive looks and comments in return, it changed my life.
And although that was years ago, it was a reminder that seeking out my truth, honoring that, and standing in that truth without shame is what I always want to do. In every area of life.
Doing that is one of the most precious things I can pass on to my daughter.
So this Mother’s Day, I want to make mamas feel good in their truth. I am writing a love letter to their truth, of who I know them to be, and why I am so proud of them for continuing to put one foot in front of the other no matter what. Even when it’s the last thing we want to do.
The word “support” does not quite feel strong enough for what I am trying to convey, but it will do. I want to support mamas—and dads too—who feel their best is not good enough.
Besides the love letters, I recently helped a close friend, by nanny-ing through April to give her and her husband some relief. They were juggling so much and even though they could have done it without me, they did not have to. And all they had to do was reach out, say something.
I also made shower scrubs for another friend, because sometimes getting into the shower is the only alone time you get that day, and scrubbing and sloughing off dead skin makes you feel incredible and softer in body, and the mind often follows.
I realize this post may not be the sugar-coated, expected sweet post, but that would not be my truth.
This is where I am standing, and I want any mama or daddy out there who has that internal aching and struggle to tell your truth.
And if you have no place else to take it, bring it to me. I will gladly hear what you have to say, validate, and support your truth.
My message this week is to stand in your truth, the other side of it is good, powerful, and lovely. Hurdles will always come, but that’s what running and jumping is for.
I hope this reaches someone today. It may not be for everyone, but there is no way I could have written this if I didn’t know that it is for someone.
I want to wish every mama, and supportive aunt, friend, or dad a wonderful, beautiful, truthful Mother’s Day.
Much Love to you all,